


reviving roses

by strwberrycake



Category: Fruits Basket, Fruits Basket (Anime 2001), Fruits Basket (Anime 2019), Fruits Basket - Takaya Natsuki (Manga)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Hanahaki Disease
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-10 02:28:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18929458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strwberrycake/pseuds/strwberrycake
Summary: give some wilted roses some sugar, and they'll revive





	reviving roses

It was gross. The feeling of the satin petals crawling out of your throat and collecting in your mouth. Mixed with blood, and saliva, the petals would come out in a soggy heap in your hands. This had been happening for a while now. 

 

Nobody knew about it, though. 

 

The internet called it “hanahaki”, roughly being translated as “flowers being thrown up.” 

 

It wasn’t as delicate as the internet described. At first it was. 

 

It started off with an itch in your throat, and a slight coughing fit, and then, poof! Red rose petals were being coughed up, and quietly landing on the floor, by your feet. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant, but you wouldn't have wanted to experience it twice. Unfortunately for you, it only got worse from there. 

 

Obviously you were bewildered, the first time it happened. Is this even possible? How is this scientifically possible? Is this normal? Why is this happening? Am I gonna die? Thoughts upon thoughts overtook your mind, and you had to excuse yourself to do a quick Google search for some answers. Google was your go-to, considering you were 99% sure you would be sent to a psychiatric hospital if you told your doctor what was happening to you. Or at least, what you thought was happening to you. 

 

So, Google, it was.

 

Helpful, as it was, it wasn’t as comforting as you were hoping. It did give you answers, and it did give a solution, but it only seemed to make the condition worse.

 

Yes, conditions revealed that you had hanahaki. Okay, check. You had a diagnosis. 

 

Can it be cured? Yes, but only through surgery, which is dangerous enough on its own, and it also comes with an unwanted side effect.

 

How did it even come about? 

 

One-sided love. 

 

Because you were in love with someone, who, was not in love with you. 

 

Now, knowing that it was caused by unrequited love, Google proposed you another solution. 

 

Make the one-sided love, a mutual one. 

 

However, you couldn’t take that route, for the one you were in love with was already in love with someone else. 

 

You weren’t one to be a homewrecker, even if it meant your life was on the line. 

 

And he was so happy.  _ So _ happy, with  _ her _ . You loved him too much to come between his smile. 

 

So there was one blocked road, one thorny road, or one dark road. 

 

Thorny road it was. 

 

Momma didn’t raise a quitter, and you were going to power through this silly disease, even if it killed you.

 

You hoped it wouldn’t, but you could try. 

  
  


~

  
  


You saw him everyday. It was impossible to avoid him. Even if you begged your parents to move to a different school, you knew it was an impossible plea. That would be far too selfish, and it’s not like you could fool yourself into leaving and thinking it was the best decision for everyone involved. 

 

He cared for you too, just not in the way you needed him to. 

 

He was Yuki Sohma. The famous, princely, delicately-handsome, class president. 

 

And you were his class secretary. Helpful, and reliable. How could you not have fallen in love with him? 

 

Hours upon hours spent with each other, hours of conversation, and both saving each other when in a pinch. 

 

It’s not like you had known Yuki since childhood, you had only met him in your first year of high school. 

 

Calm, and collected, when he first introduced himself to the council, Yuki spoke eloquently, and with a soft tone of voice that reminded you of how hazelnut creamer tastes. He was warm, and sure, a perfect leader. You looked forward to working with him. He seemed capable enough, and approachable enough, his presence alone eased your anxieties of your new job as secretary. 

The cherry on top of your first meeting with him was the way he laughed softly at your nervousness. With a simple, “It’ll be alright, Let’s work hard together. If you have any questions, don’t be afraid to ask, okay?”, you weren’t so scared anymore. 

 

Yuki wasn’t the prince on a white horse everyone painted him out to be. Princely-looking, yes. He was clean, tall, and slender, with delicate features, and a light aroma of warm vanilla, he screamed prince. However, being around him so often, you could see right through his princely act. He was just scared most of the time. You didn’t know really of what, exactly. You could never bring yourself to ask. You just  _ knew _ him. You knew there was more to him than the princely image the school had assigned to him. He was much more vulnerable, and lonely, than he made himself out to be. 

 

Despite all of that, you could trust him. You could trust his words. He meant what he said. 

 

Until he didn’t.

 

It had all started so innocently, just two students working together for their high school council. It was never supposed to be such a big deal. It was never supposed to be so vulnerable. It was never supposed to be like  _ this _ . Like every other crush, you didn’t realize it until it was staring you in the face. 

 

It was another late night of working for the council. The other members had gone home, already done their part, and left the brunt of the work to you, and Yuki. Kind Yuki, accepted the work with a gentle smile, and you, ridiculously loyal, stayed behind to help him. 

 

Quiet shuffles of paperwork, scratches of pen against paper, an occasional bump of the table, it was a warm spring day. The cherry blossoms were blooming. It was nice. 

 

Just being there with him, like that, serene, and with the dreamy background of scattering pink petals, you couldn’t be happier. A cheesy teenager stuck in their head, you would sneak loving glances at the boy across from you. His dark grey eyes downturned, focused on his work, he never noticed. You began to think of how he would look when he was reading his favorite book. Then, you wondered that when he laughed, and you mean,  _ really _ laughed, if his eyes crinkled the way you imagined them to. You wondered how warm his hands must be, you wondered if your hands would fit perfectly within his, like missing puzzle pieces. How warm must his arms be? Would it feel like home if he let you in? Were you welcome there? 

 

Suddenly, the sliding of the classroom door interrupted your daydreams, and Tohru Honda called Yuki’s name from the doorway. You couldn’t lie and say you weren’t irritated by Tohru’s appearance, but it’s not like you could hate the poor girl. She was literal honey in human form, too sweet, and pure, to hate. She couldn’t hurt a fly even if she wanted to. 

 

They exchanged a very casual, and very brief, exchange of words but the way Yuki’s eyes seem to  _ light up _ , and have this new sheen of life within them, made your heart sting in a way you didn’t think it could. The conversation couldn’t have lasted more than 10 seconds, and in that short span of time, you could tell how much just the simple act of seeing her face refreshed him, and made him glow. In that moment, you realized, you had never seen Yuki look that happy with you. Sure, he smiled at you, and greeted you, and helped you, but was it anything other than politeness? 

 

What he showed to Tohru wasn’t politeness, it was love. 

 

You were throwing salt in the wound, but you decided to ask anyways.

 

“Tohru seemed to be in a good mood.”

 

“Yes, it seems so. She’s excited for dinner, apparently she’s having her favorite meal.”

 

“Hm. Sounds nice.”

 

Yuki only smiled in response, probably thinking of how childishly cute it was that Tohru was excited about dinner. 

 

“So Yuki…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Tohru...how do you feel about her? You always seem to be in a better mood because of her.”

 

It was said casually enough, there was no malice, and it was a simple question. 

 

So then, why did his cheeks drain of color, and why did his eyes widen in shock. It was a simple question. Why was he struggling for an answer? 

 

“Ah… yes, well. Tohru is…”

 

The sad, distant smile, adorning his porcelain face wasn’t fitting for the prince of the school. 

 

“Tohru is a very dear person to me.” 

 

It was a simple enough response, for a simple enough question. So why did it hurt so much to hear it? Maybe it was the way he hesitated in his response, the way the word “love” hung on his tongue like an afterthought. Maybe it was the way his eyes lied, and the words coming from his mouth diverted the truth. It was a blanket statement, it could honestly mean anything, but you knew what it meant. 

 

Yuki Sohma was a liar.

 

He loved Tohru Honda. 

 

You knew this much. 

 

It was just a childish crush, until it wasn’t.

 

When you realized you were in love with Yuki Sohma like any other foolish girl in this cursed school, you knew it would be the hardest ordeal to get over. The fact that you saw him everyday, interacted with him everyday, saw his expressions everyday, and got to know when he was lying with his eyes again, you knew he was causing an impression on your heart, and you didn’t know how to erase him. It’s not like you had the heart to, anyways. He was so sweet. His smile, empty as it was often times, was the smile you adored more than any others. You loved him. It made you want to cry. 

 

And then you started coughing up flowers. 

 

The stress of unresolved emotions, and nowhere to put your love, it turned into a tangible disease. The stress of unrequited love caused for flowers to bloom in your chest, and slowly fill your lungs, with the endgame of your death. This love was actually going to kill you. 

 

You refused to let anyone know, especially Yuki. 

 

After the first incident, you began to recognize the itch in your throat and would begin to excuse yourself more often to take care of it. 

 

Each day it got worse. 

 

Finally, it had already been a little more than a month, and the condition was at its peak. 

 

You weren’t being careful, and thought you were alone.

 

One handkerchief filled with blood-soaked petals later, and Yuki was staring at you with wide eyes. 

 

You couldn’t move, and your gasp was stuck in your throat. 

 

Oh shit.

 

He opened his mouth to say something, but you felt that familiar lurch in your gut that warned you of an incoming flux of flowers. Your eyes filled with tears, and you barely had enough time to turn away from him, and hack up another batch of sticky flowers. Much bloodier, than usual. 

 

He was by your side before you could straighten yourself out, cautiously peering down at you. Worried grey eyes, scrutinizing your every motion. 

 

You almost wanted to stay hunched over like you were to avoid looking him in the eye. How could you? The last person you wanted to know about all of this, and here he was, actually watching you go through it.

 

“When did it start?”

 

His voice was soft, hesitant. 

 

You cleared your throat. 

 

“About a month ago.” 

 

You still wouldn’t look at him. You couldn’t.

 

“What is it?”

 

You sighed, exhausted.

 

“Hanahaki. Basically its flowers growing in my lungs, and I...throw them up. Y'know...because flowers aren’t exactly supposed to be in the lungs.” A bitter laugh escaped your lips, and you regretted letting it out. 

 

A small pause from him, collecting his thoughts, probably.

 

“What causes it?”

 

Your own eyes widened at the question. You didn’t want to answer, but you never could say no to Yuki.

 

“...One-sided love.” Your eyes focused on the floor, scanning the tiles. Ashamed, and tired.

 

“Who is it?”

 

You didn’t respond. 

 

“Someone’s doing this to you, aren’t they? Who is it?” 

 

You moved away from him, making sure of the space between you both. 

 

“Don’t worry about it.” The familiar lurch in your stomach made an encore appearance. It was warning you. You ignored the warning anyways. “You don’t even know them. This isn’t your problem.” 

 

Reluctantly, Yuki stepped closer to you. Pained, and almost desperate, he asked that you look at him.

 

When you finally did, there was a shadow of hurt in his eyes that made you want to slap yourself. You never wanted to see that look on his face again. He repeated himself.

 

“Who is it?” 

 

It was almost a whisper, but it was filled with an unknown poison, foreign coming from his mouth. 

 

You couldn’t answer him. You didn’t want to. You knew that if you opened your mouth, his name would slip out. 

 

His hands were in fists, you noticed. You wondered if his knuckles hurt from how white they were turning. 

 

“Please… isn’t there any way we can fix this? Have you been to a doctor?”

 

You sighed, “None of them are valid options, Yuki. Can we just drop this?”

 

“Well, what are they? Maybe you’re just not giving one a chance.”

 

Another small pause. 

 

“I can either...make that person love me, ending the one-sidedness, go through the disease as best I can, or…”

 

It was hard to say the last option. It was the option you absolutely refused to acknowledge. The one you would never do. The one that hurt the most. The dark road. 

 

“Or… I can have surgery… which is already dangerous… considering it’s my  _ lungs _ .”

 

Yuki opened his mouth to encourage the option with what you assumed was some type of statistic on how lung surgeries are  _ actually  _ really quite successful, but you interrupted him. 

 

“But if I went through with the surgery… I’d lose all my memories of that person.” 

 

He didn’t respond for a second, carefully thinking over his next words.

 

“Do you love them that much?”

 

Now he was the one avoiding eye contact, his silver hair shadowing his expression, and keeping it hidden from you. 

 

“Yes.”

 

It was soft, but certain. You loved him more than you thought you could ever love another person. 

 

“What’s the end result supposed to be?”

 

“I think you already know the answer to that, Yuki. Or at least...I think you can imagine it.” 

 

He turned away from you, pinching the bridge of his nose, the way he does when he’s stuck in a difficult situation. Suddenly, he relaxed, and looked at you, calculatingly. 

 

“What if…” he proposed, “it was me?” 

 

Your brows furrowed in confusion, had he figured it out already? But then, why was he asking you that as if he was an option? He wasn’t. He couldn’t be. 

 

“What do you mean?” 

 

He stepped closer to you, more confident in his answer. You stepped back in reluctance. 

 

“What if you fell in love with me instead? That could be a cure, right? If this is being caused by one-sided love, then, what if you got over them? It wouldn’t be one-sided with that person anymore.” 

 

Ah, his dark grey eyes looked bright again. At least in your head, you were happy for being able to see him so happy again. 

 

You smiled sadly, “Yuki, it doesn’t work like that. It’d still be one-sided with you. It would just happen again.” 

 

Ah, the light went out again. You caused him that pained look again. You hated yourself for it. 

 

“But I could love you.” His cheeks were embarrassingly red, if it weren’t for the circumstances, you would’ve loved to tease him for it. 

 

“Yuki, you don’t love me.” It was simple, and to the point, and it was only five words, but it hurt. Oh man, you’d been throwing up those cursed flowers for more than thirty days, but none of it compared to hearing yourself formulate those words into the air. 

 

He was getting panicked, and anxious. 

 

“Why can’t it be me?” You could tell he was running out of options, and it was endearing that he was trying this hard for you. If anything, it almost made you happy how worried about you he was. But it did more harm than good. You just wanted this boy to be happy, and in this moment, it looked like he wanted to cry, and it was because of you. 

 

Without your permission, tears filled your eyes, and slipped down your cheeks, landing loudly on the tile floor. You were tired, and couldn’t take seeing him in pain anymore. You didn’t have much to lose anyways. 

 

“Because you’re in love with Tohru.” 

 

It didn’t take him long to figure it out. It  _ was _ him. It was  _ because _ of him. Because of  _ him _ you were like  _ this _ . 

 

“(y/n)... I-... I’m  _ so _ sorry.” 

 

The apology made something snap in you, maybe a flower stem. 

 

“Don’t apologize!” You couldn’t keep the tears from coming, it was like a dam had been broken. “Don’t… apologize. I… I never once regretted being in love with you… so don’t make it sound like it was a mistake…” 

 

He couldn’t bring himself to respond, so you continued. 

 

“Even if… things ended up this way… I don’t regret it. Why do you think I refuse to have the surgery? I don’t want to forget you.” You smiled, even though the situation wasn’t fitting. “I don’t regret meeting you, Yuki. I’m glad you’ve been in my life.”

 

Suddenly, Yuki blurted out a flurry of words that took you a second to absorb. 

 

“I don’t love Tohru. Not in that way, at least. It’s complicated… but I don’t see her like that. I can explain it to you. And I will. But you have to stay so I can tell you everything.”

 

Shock, was putting it lightly. All this time, you thought you had lost Yuki to Tohru, and now he’s saying that you’re wrong? 

 

“(y/n), I love  _ you _ . I love Tohru, but not… the way… I love you.”

 

Were you hearing him wrong? There had to be something wrong with this. 

 

“Yuki, you do know this doesn’t work if you don’t mean it right? If you’re just trying to cure my illness with empty words, it’s not going to work. I can’t force you to love me.” 

 

“No! No… I… I’ve always liked you… Tohru is just… familiar. She’s comforting. I’m close to her because of my circumstances, but it’s not that I want to pursue that type of relationship with her. You’re… familiar, too. I’m at ease with you. But… there’s a lot you don’t know about me. That’s why I’ve been keeping my distance… it’s not that… I don’t love you. I do. It’s just… hard.” 

 

He was having a hard time formulating his thoughts into words, and you couldn’t decide on whether to believe him or not. 

 

He continued, still clumsy, but a bit more sure. 

 

“You’ve always been by my side. You’ve always been so kind to me. You actually do your best to get closer to me. I’ve always loved you for being yourself.”

 

He looked off to the side, contemplating something. His hands curled into fists, and his brows furrowed in frustration. 

 

“(y/n)... I’m going to… show you something. And you might think I’m disgusting. Or a monster. And something bad might happen to you, but… I think this might be my best bet on fixing things. Please, allow me to show you my feelings.” 

 

You didn’t mean to have your body go into total fight-or-flight mode, but the way Yuki worded things, it sounded much worse, than what actually happened. 

 

Swiftly, Yuki approached you, and planted a soft kiss on your lips that lasted much shorter than you would have liked. 

 

A puff of smoke, a pile of clothes, and a silver rat sat on top of a crumpled shirt. 

 

You took a second to think of what just happened. Crouching down to look at the rat, jokingly, you called out Yuki’s name. 

 

And the damn thing responded. 

 

Yuki explained the gist of the curse, which was that he couldn’t be hugged by the opposite sex or he turns into his zodiac spirit. He mentions that he turns back, after a bit of time. He mentions Tohru’s position, and how that, since you now know of the curse, your memories might be wiped. 

 

You should’ve been mad, considering how hard you were working towards keeping your memories, and here was Yuki basically trashing your efforts. But you couldn’t be mad. 

 

He proved his feelings for you. He literally revealed the biggest secret he had kept hidden just to prove he loved you. 

 

How could you be mad?

 

The boy you loved, loved you back. 

 

Even in his small rat form, you loved him. A small kiss on the top of his head, and he was back with another poof. 

 

When he was changed, and you both settled down to talk things through, you felt a massive wave of relief wash over your chest.

 

The flowers were disappearing. 

 

Now that the problem of hanahaki was over, the problem of possible memory erasure was still to be discussed. 

 

At this point though, you were happy enough. Even if your memories were to be erased, you at least knew that Yuki loved you. 

 

You would fall in love with Yuki a hundred times over if it meant you could be with him by the end of it. 

 

Yuki still looked like he wanted to cry, but his eyes had softened at the idea of you promising to fall in love with him again. 

 

You would’ve let your lungs overflow with velvety rose petals if it meant you could keep Yuki in your memories. Now, you would lose your memories to keep Yuki in your heart. 

 

Either way, if he was there to revive you, you were sure you could do anything for that boy. 

**Author's Note:**

> hello, i'm back w this garbage. idk why i have such trouble ending my works, the endings always suk 
> 
> anyways! i hope y'all found something u like from this. thank u for reading! i appreciate it!!
> 
> i welcome any comments, constructive or otherwise!! 
> 
> stay safe!! 
> 
> ೭੧(❛▿❛✿)੭೨


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